


who wrote the book on goodbye ?

by jisxngie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: @ jyp bring minho and felix back you twat, Angst, M/M, lets stray kids be happy for fucks sake, lil bit of fluff, man im not ready for the next episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 13:09:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12959898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisxngie/pseuds/jisxngie
Summary: there's only been a small handful of times where woojin's seen chris cry.





	who wrote the book on goodbye ?

there’s only been a small handful of times when woojin’s seen chris cry. each of those times, he’s never really gone to speak to their leader; he prefers to stick back, drowning himself in the guilt of things happening that aren’t in his control.

the very first time he’d seen chris cry was when he was a fresh trainee, newly added to the company after passing his audition.

woojin carefully peeks his head around the corner of the hall, hearing small hiccups echoing down it. he tip toes to the door three down on the right, where light tries to sliver through the gap of the slightly ajar door. he peeks in, his black hair falling into his eyes as he tries to see who’s in there.

it’s a boy. he’s sitting on the floor and he has brassy blonde hair, curled out of his face as he sobs into his hands. from his position behind the door, woojin can see dark purple bruising on his knees and knuckles, and his mouth curls into a frown. what happened to him? how long has he been training here? woojin slowly backs away from the door, trying to block out the heart wrenching sobs coming from that poor boy. he makes his way back to the first floor of the building, where he then leaves to go back to his home.

the second time he’d seen chris cry made him want to break down.

that’s it, it’s happened. minho is eliminated.

he stands off to the side, trying his best to hide his tears from the prying cameras. he doesn’t see felix breaking down into tears, doesn’t see changbin standing at the back with tears brimming in dark eyes. it’s all too surreal, and when minho mutters a broken “i’m sorry” to chris, woojin feels the familiar wetness trailing down his cheek.

“why are you sorry? i should be the one that’s sorry.”

woojin spares a glance back at chris and minho, and when he sees their leader with tears in his eyes, holding onto minho like his life depends on it, he turns away just as quickly. the tears won’t stop falling. woojin goes to comfort minho afterwards, muttering apologies and letting himself drown in the guilt of losing someone who was exactly like family.

the third time was because woojin had cautiously asked him to walk around near the han river with him.

it’s too different in the dorm. there’s a certain sad emptiness that hangs in the air when they order food for lunch and everyone sits around the small table in their living room. they unconsciously leave a space where minho used to always sit, and it hurts woojin to see hyunjin shuffling over with a sad expression on his face. it isn’t them without minho, it isn’t stray kids without nine members.

“chris, do you want to go on a walk?”

chris nods quickly, standing from his place after he’s finished eating his food.

“look after the dorm,” chris directs the reminder at no one, and he shuts the front door gently behind him.

the wind is gentle, blowing leaves past the duo as they slowly make their way down the concrete path next to the river. chris has his gaze aimed at the ground in front of them and woojin quietly asks him the one question on his mind.

“are you okay?”

to be honest, it’s a stupid question when he asks it, but chris answers with a solemn voice.

“to be honest, not really.”

it usually doesn’t take long for chris to get over things, woojin knows this but just knowing the fact that he’s still reeling over minho hurts him.

“do you want to talk about it?”

“yeah, that’d be nice.”

woojin’s halfway through talking about (how awful jyp is) the sunset from where they’re leaning against a railing when he hears a hiccup from next to him.

“hey, are you alright? why are you crying?”

“i don’t know,” chris cries into his palms, “but i know it’s not for a bad thing, i don’t feel bad. i feel good here, it’s nice.”

“so you’re crying of happiness?”

“yeah,” chris laughs, and some of his accent peeks through his otherwise normal voice, “i guess.”

woojin smiles, and pulls chris into a loose but firm hug.

the fourth time woojin sees chris cry is when they’re meeting with jyp.

“im sorry, but there will be an elimination this time.”

woojin feels his stomach drop and it’s not in a good way. his gaze drops to the ground, and he switches his weight between his feet out lf nervousness. there can’t be another elimination, right? he bites his lip and tries to tune out the sound of their ceo’s voice but it comes back to haunt him in the form of

“felix, you are eliminated.”

even if there was supposed to be any form of heart or sorry in that statement, woojin can’t find it. the air in the room is still and woojin can hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. his breathing goes funny and jyp stands, leaving the room without another word.

everything seems to go downhill from there. jisung is the first to envelop felix in a hug, he always is. woojin looks to the ceiling and blinks rapidly in an attempt to get rid of his tears. he can hear felix sobbing out a broken “i’m really sorry” to jisung and he can see jisung hug him tighter in the reflection of the mirror. everything is blurred from his tears but he can hear chris talking.

“i’m not gonna leave you behind.”

woojin can’t really understand what he’s saying since it’s in english but what he does understand is that chris’ voice cracks and wavers when he breathes out a ‘yeah?’. he wipes at his tears again and it proves pointless when felix trudges over to changbin, who’s crouched in a corner, and hugs him like he’s going to die.

“hyung is sorry, hyung is…”

“why is hyung sorry? really, why is hyung sorry?”

this is the first time any of them have ever heard changbin break to the point where he’s sobbing into felix’s chest. woojin blinks away more tears and catches chris watching them from the other side of the room; his eyes are red and puffy and the light reflects off of tears trailing gently down his face.

that night is the last time he hopes to ever see chris cry. they share a room, so it isn’t very hard to witness the other crying. however, knowing that this time it’s because one of their members has been eliminated makes it worse.

woojin lies awake in his bunk, his front facing the wall next to him as he listens to chris sobbing at the desk in their room. it’s too heartbreaking to know that someone chris truly cares for is being kicked out just like that, like it’s such a small thing in the big world. woojin peers down the crack between his bunk and the wall, where minho’s bunk is below his. the bed is clean, sheets perfectly made and pillows perfectly placed. he wonders how seungmin is, without felix in the room with him anymore. chris’ sobs bring him back to reality, and he gets up to climb out of bed.

“chris, come here.”

he listens and although he looks like a mess, woojin still lets him collect him in his arms. his pyjamas are definitely going to get soaked from salty tears but he doesn’t care. he runs his fingers through chris’ bleached hair gently, the wavy strands falling through his fingers like sand.

“we promised each other to debut as nine. what happened?”

chris sobs into his shoulder and woojin guides him to his bed, lying down next to him and throwing the covers over the both of them.

“we will debut as nine. i’m sure the fans will help make it happen.”

woojin runs his fingers through chris’ hair until he can feel the leader calm down, his breaths slowing until eventually he falls into a deep sleep. woojin checks the time on chris’ phone. it’s 3:21am. he wraps his arms around chris and as he closes his eyes and falls into the abyss of sleep, he feels a single tear drip down his cheek.

huh, fate really does have a sick sense of humour.

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's still lowkey but also highkey mad abt felix's elimination :)
> 
> jyp can go choke on a table leg
> 
> anyways go yell w me on my tumblr !!! @jisxngie


End file.
